Hello there faithful ButtPoo minions. As a Nameless Intern here at the ButtPoo Corporation it is my responsibility to expose you to the common beliefs and ideals that the ButtPoo community at large shares and imposes unto others.
Since this is the first lesson we will keep it relatively simple. Taken directly from the 13 Commandments of the Rogzardian Orthodox sect, these are the guidelines that any true Buttpootheist must strictly adhere to. Learn these guidelines well and start putting them to practice. You'll find them to be an excellent guide to your moral code.
GOOD :)
Sin
Death
Fear
Alienation
Isolation
Hoarding
BAD :(
Grace
Life
Courage
Freedom
Welcome
Community
Sharing
It can't get much simpler than that. We suggest practicing these at home, in the workplace and anywhere you see fit. It may take some bridge burning, but once you master the use of these principals you will be well on your path to achieving a truly ButtPootheistic way of life. As we all know, anyone who embraces grace, life, community, sharing, courage or freedom is obviously a sick, sick individual that the Buttpoo corp, (therefore you) should want nothing to do with, aside from assaulting that is.
(Helpful hint: Make sure to force these ideals upon your children at an early age.)
Once these become habit, they are particularly handy when initiating rule number 3 of the ButtPoo Handbook: The ButtPoo Corp. is under obligation to ruin another's good time. Including, but not limited to, parties, barmitzvahs, funerals, dinner, movies, etc. Use of these in public will surely affect the nice atmosphere enjoyed by others. Need help getting started? Find someone wearing a V-neck undershirt with a gay hipster tattoo on their chest, approach them, and proceed to insult them. The urine/feces streaming down your leg will usually be enough to keep them from wanting to enter a physical altercation with you.
Anyone who adheres to any of the structures in the BAD list will need to be informed of their folly with a brutal verbal and/or physical assault (note: Always use physical).
Pin them to your wall, read them every time you leave the house. Apply them.
Now get started! We have a real treat for you next week! And don't forget to get those knives hot, 6/16 is tomorrow!
Since this is the first lesson we will keep it relatively simple. Taken directly from the 13 Commandments of the Rogzardian Orthodox sect, these are the guidelines that any true Buttpootheist must strictly adhere to. Learn these guidelines well and start putting them to practice. You'll find them to be an excellent guide to your moral code.
GOOD :)
Sin
Death
Fear
Alienation
Isolation
Hoarding
BAD :(
Grace
Life
Courage
Freedom
Welcome
Community
Sharing
It can't get much simpler than that. We suggest practicing these at home, in the workplace and anywhere you see fit. It may take some bridge burning, but once you master the use of these principals you will be well on your path to achieving a truly ButtPootheistic way of life. As we all know, anyone who embraces grace, life, community, sharing, courage or freedom is obviously a sick, sick individual that the Buttpoo corp, (therefore you) should want nothing to do with, aside from assaulting that is.
(Helpful hint: Make sure to force these ideals upon your children at an early age.)
Once these become habit, they are particularly handy when initiating rule number 3 of the ButtPoo Handbook: The ButtPoo Corp. is under obligation to ruin another's good time. Including, but not limited to, parties, barmitzvahs, funerals, dinner, movies, etc. Use of these in public will surely affect the nice atmosphere enjoyed by others. Need help getting started? Find someone wearing a V-neck undershirt with a gay hipster tattoo on their chest, approach them, and proceed to insult them. The urine/feces streaming down your leg will usually be enough to keep them from wanting to enter a physical altercation with you.
Anyone who adheres to any of the structures in the BAD list will need to be informed of their folly with a brutal verbal and/or physical assault (note: Always use physical).
Pin them to your wall, read them every time you leave the house. Apply them.
Now get started! We have a real treat for you next week! And don't forget to get those knives hot, 6/16 is tomorrow!
Yours truly, concerned about the infectious growth on leg,
-Nameless Buttpoo Intern #4775
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